Clay of Babylon
by Code Live
Summary: Due to her father being very lucky, Rin has now summoned Enkidu. However, it's almost set in stone for her to be dragged into the conflict and friendship of two of the most powerful servants in the universe. Enkidu, on the other hand, has had the splendid fortune of being reunited with a friend...a friend he may not truly know anymore. (Based on project mouthwash's abridged verse)
1. A New Age

**Notice: Rin is more similar to Rin of Unlimited Blade Works Abridged by project mouthwash due to personal preferences, so do expect slight bits of crack.**

* * *

"So this is what my father left me...so this is the catalyst..." Rin murmured to herself, as she reached into the drawer, and looked at the letter while simultaneously dressing herself.

The letter from her father said at the envelope, _"Do not open until the Grail War is here. It should be 60 years."_

"Joke's on you, dad. It's only been 10 years."

The contents said,

_"Rin, if you've opened __this, I'm most likely dead." _

"Yeah, I know. It's all Kirei's fault, he was a shit bodyguard."

_"Well, I had intended to summon the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh, so I searched for years in the middle east to get a proper catalyst for him."_

"And even with such a powerful servant you still lost...I really don't wanna know how that worked, it seems far too embarrassing."

_"However, I also found another catalyst for another servant, close to him. In the event that I lose, I hope that this will be of use to you, Rin. You will know who the servant is when you summon it."_

"Talk about a good dad...eh, better than leaving me with only Kirei. What's his deal with mapo tofu..."

Her alarm clock rang, as she then threw a book at it. "I'M ALREADY UP, SHUT UP!" she yelled at it, before she looked at the calendar. It happened to be the weekends, and there was no school, so...

"For making me chant so damn long, come out already, servant!" Rin yelled as the bright light engulfed the summoning diagram that she had drawn on the basement floor. As the light faded away, Rin looked at the figure in front of her.

The servant opened its mouth, and spoke, "Are you my master?" Rin jumped in the air. She screamed, "Yes I am! Alright, name, yours, GIMMIE! Wait wait wait, lemme guess who are you..." she then got a proper look at the servant in front of her. It was a beautiful human, with beautiful and long light green hair and beautiful eyes, with only a simple tunic as clothing.

Rin frowned, as the servant waited for her guess. The servant resembled a woman, but with that tunic concealing most of the physical features, and at a similar height to Rin herself. "You're..." Rin thought of a servant from the Middle East.

"Wait wait wait, what's your class?" Rin asked her servant. The servant gave a small smile, then said, "I am of the lancer class. Do you need one more clue?" Rin paced around, before groaning and beating the ground. "Why can't i figure out your identity?!" She yelled, as she rolled around.

Lancer realized that it got a rather...interesting view, but kept its silence. "Shall I simply just spill the beans, master?" It said, a small smile decorating its doll-like face, as it slowly walked over to Rin, before kneeling down.

Rin groaned, before she then looked up at Lancer. "NO..! Wait, first, gimmie a hand." Lancer nodded, before raising her up. Rin then noticed that Lancer happened to be the same height as her, though when she summoned Lancer that didn't seem to be the case.

"Hm...almost godly looks, looks really beautiful, probably is a girl...I'VE GOT IT! YOU'RE ISHTAR!" Rin yelled. Lancer chuckled, before its eyebrows furrowed. "What?" was the only word that came out of its mouth.

Rin dragged 'Ishtar' along with her. "C'mon, Ishtar! Let's get you acquainted with the area!"

'Ishtar' shook its head. "Master, I believe that there's a misunderstanding. I am not Ishtar, and in fact, I wouldn't be too surprised if you were the reincarnation of Ishtar." It said. It wasn't entirely wrong, this girl was quite beautiful.

Rin chuckled. "Oooh, that's flattering. You know what, I'll call Kotomine Kirei. Just wait here, Ishtar!" 'Ishtar' sighed. "Even as a tool, this girl...it's not easy for me to stand her." it muttered to itself, before walking off towards the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen, Lancer began to take out a few pots, examining them. "They don't make them out of clay anymore? How sad." it said before noticing the fridge. Opening it, Lancer took out a packaged set of frozen steak, thought about throwing them at Rin, then set it down on the kitchen counter.

"It's so cold..." Lancer murmured, before taking the steak, already stained with small bits of pepper, and rolling up its sleeves to prepare for cooking. It had cooked quite a few times for a certain king, learning from people like Siduri and others.

"Hey, Kirei!" Rin yelled into the phone, as Kirei on the other end made a pained face as Gilgamesh watched him answer the phone. "What is it, Rin?" he sighed, as he wondered how he managed to put up with this teenager for such a long time.

Rin yelled, "I just summoned my servant!"

Kirei's eyebrows were raised, as Gilgamesh headed towards the phone, with a look of interest in his eyes. Kirei answered, "May I ask who you summoned?" He wondered who it was, though the mana density seemed to be so high to the point that even he could somewhat sense it...otherwise it was Gilgamesh fooling around.

Rin began bragging. "My kickass new servant, is none other than Ish-fucking-tar!"

Kirei frowned, as he replied with a chuckle, "Silly Rin, you can't summon a full-on pagan goddess-"

"Screw you Kirei! Thinking that a full blown goddess conforms to your rules! Oh fucking no!" then the call ended, with a slam being heard from the phone.

* * *

Gilgamesh sat on the sofa, as he somewhat attentively listened to Kirei tell him about what he'd done. "So you've basically acquired Cu Chulainn from that girl called Bazett as an archer." He concluded, while he drank a cup of wine.

"Yes. With the mana from the orphans, even with the added force of Cu Chulainn, I should be able to support both of you without much suspicion from the parties." Kirei replied, as he rolled his sleeves down to conceal his command seals for both Gilgamesh and Cu Chulainn.

"Where is he, though?" Gilgamesh questioned the priest. Kirei shrugged. "I don't believe that he likes me as his master, so I sent him to spy on other masters besides the Tohsakas, since I don't want to raise her suspicions towards me." he then finished his cup of wine, before he held out his cup for another swig.

"Alright, what did Rin tell you? You're her teacher, after all. I'm sure she trusts you to some degree." Gilgamesh said, as he then drank some wine that came from his gate of Babylon. He then poured a cup for Kirei, as he then ran his fingers through his golden hair.

Kirei cleared his throat, then spoke. "From what she's said, she apparently summoned Ishtar." The air suddenly seemed to still, as the gulping of wine from the king of heroes ceased to resound.

"What." was the only word that came from Gilgamesh's mouth. His red eyes seemed to flare and go wild, as his fist enclosed. Kirei's eyebrows furrowed, as he then held his forehead, knowing that Gilgamesh most likely did not have positive feelings towards Ishtar.

"Normally, I'd treat her as a nuisance. But now, even now, she's here to ruin my fun...that mongrel goddess." Gilgamesh said, with a drop of annoyance dripping from his lips. Kirei decided that maybe he should try to calm his anger, instead of the standard approach of planning around him.

"Gilgamesh...normally, divine spirits can't be summoned. She may have reached too fast to conclusions and might've messed up." Kirei tried to find a reason to calm Gilgamesh's whirling storm of emotions. Gilgamesh simply gave a laugh.

"Kirei, Kirei, Kirei...do you think I'd be even scared of her? The most intense emotion I'd give her would be frustration, not anger." Gilgamesh chuckled, as then drank his wine. Kirei sighed, as he realized that Gilgamesh had managed to suppress his anger with his sheer pride.

"I believe that I'd rather be safe than sorry." Kirei replied to him, before taking another drink. He then set the cup down, then suggested, "However, I suppose I'll send the other Archer to try and found out the identity and class."

Gilgamesh nodded. "Very well. I find it odd that it'd be Ishtar...but who knows. Maybe Rin's being a cloud cuckoo lander." Kirei frowned, as he hadn't expected Gilgamesh to know such a term. He set his cup of wine down, then said, "You've been going around the neighborhood, haven't you?"

A smile just spread across the king of heroes's face. "These filthy mongrels had it coming."

* * *

"Master, I'm going to have to request you to stop calling me Ishtar." Lancer said. Sure, it was a tool, but Gilgamesh's claim that it very well had feelings as his friend wasn't entirely untrue. It was feeling a sense of annoyance towards the misunderstanding.

"Fine, what do I call you besides Lancer then? Is that not your true name?" Rin replied in a nonchalant manner, as she prepared for school. The weekend had passed, and Lancer had somewhat gotten used to the surroundings.

Lancer knelt down, before speaking. "Servant, Lancer. Enkidu. Your call has activated me. Please use me as you wish. Mercy is unnecessary, Master." in looked at Enkidu, as it stood up. "Alright, Enkidu...the legends imply that biologically and in deeds, you seem to be a male, but yet your appearance disagrees with the implication otherwise.."

Enkidu looked at her. "Master, I do not fully comprehend what you're trying to convey. May you restate it in simpler terms?" It tilted its head, as it let out a confused smile. Rin pulled on her pigtails a bit, then restated it in a question.

"Alright, Enkidu. Are you man or woman?" Rin asked, as she opened the door, with Enkidu in a brown cloak and jeans, along with a white T-shirt. It was baffling to her. Enkidu wore an outfit that didn't incline much towards either gender, and its appearance didn't help either.

"Clay." Enkidu answered, as it then walked aside Rin, not bothering to dissipate into the air, at least not just yet.

Rin frowned, as she looked at Enkidu. "Allow me to rephrase it...what's under the clothes? Specifically the..." she began to get slightly flustered a bit. "The groin?"

Enkidu gave a gentle smile, as it said, "Clay."

By now, Rin was prepared to give up. "And...what's under the clay?"

Enkidu looked downwards towards its crotch. "...more clay."

Rin gritted her teeth, before waving the thought off. "Alright, at least, what are your pronouns?" she couldn't believe that she was having such issues.

Enkidu mashed its hands together. "You may simply refer to me as it." it said, before noticing a couple of flowers, and ran towards them before being forcefully pulled back by Rin. Rin pulled him back besides her. "It?...is that not a bit dehumanizing?"

Enkidu frowned, before speaking, "Master, I should make myself clear. I am not human. I am simply a weapon, made to be used by a certain person, in this case, you." It then coughed as a car drove past them, apparently not used to the smoke.

Relieved, Rin exhaled, glad that it was over. "Enkidu, my classmates will be able to see me soon. I'd prefer for you to shift into spirit form, where people cannot see you." Enkidu nodded. "Understood." then, it disappeared.

"Master, may I ask why we're going to this 'school' of yours? It may be dangerous." Enkidu said to her. Rin replied telepathically, "No, Lancer, we won't get attacked for the same reasons we won't attack anybody. Besides, it's not like the grail is going to randomly get its participants from a high school. This is a battle between esteemed mages!"

Enkidu questioned, "Well, I'd suppose that it should be consisted of esteemed mages...but are they like you? While your mana capabilities are quite great, your age leaves a lot to be desired."

Rin mentally glared at her servant, as she walked across the road. "Look, it's not my fault that the grail decided to come back within 10 years. Besides, I've been prepping for the war for a considerable amount of time. Look at you! All of your parameters are A!"

Enkidu gave a silent nod, before speaking telepathically. "I sense...that there's something odd with the school." Rin's eyes widened as she walked into the school gates, as a wave of prana washed over her, purple in conceptual color.

"Master, I suggest that we should stay here overnight to investigate. If the enemy mage intends to turn this school into a butcher house, then we either stay here to fight him or her, or we create a proper alibi to start an evacuation." Enkidu suggested.

Rin shook her head vehemently as she walked into the hallways, before then going behind the stairway. "Oh no! If some jackass thinks that he's going to kill everyone in my school, I'm going to kill everyone first and give the mana to you! This is a challenge!"

Enkidu's eyes widened slightly, but then began to form by Rin's side, before speaking. "If you wish to do so, I as a tool, will be as your disposal to kill them." It said, as weapons attached to chains formed in its hands.

Rin turned around, much to her chagrin, saw Enkidu in a battle-ready pose. "...Lancer, I was just joking around. I didn't actually mean it." She sighed, as Enkidu then disappeared once more. "I am sorry for the misunderstanding, master."

"No, it's okay. We'll be staying overnight. Is that understood?" Rin asked her servant.

Enkidu responded, "Very well. I shall help you in your endeavors."

Rin began to walk to class, before a thought crossed her mind. "By the way...if you can create any weapon using clay, disguise yourself as a Saber, supposedly the strongest class, for a bit. A little intimidation and loss of spirit on the other side always helps."

"Understood."

* * *

In the middle of the night, Rin walked onto the roof, as Enkidu remained dematerialized. Kneeling down, Rin then examined the diagram upon the ground. "I've found seven of this sort of diagram by now. This seems to be the trigger point...however, I haven't ever seen writing or designs like this. It seems like it might be a noble phantasm. If this keeps on, the school's population will be dead."

Enkidu murmured, "It seems like it wants to abuse the fact that servants can absorb the souls of the living for mana." It said, waiting to materialize, as Rin examined the diagram. Rin's ears perked up after hearing Enkidu's words.

"You can gain XP and level up by eating people? That sounds great!" Rin exclaimed, as she could feel Enkidu start to prepare itself for killing. Rin sighed. "No, 'Saber.' It's too hard to cover up. Even if it's great, I don't think we should do it."

Enkidu steeled itself. "I hate to change the subject, Master, but there's an enemy servant nearby." Rin looked up, to hear an unfamiliar voice, coming from a relatively tall man in blue tights, with red eyes and a grin decorating his face.

"What, you're going to erase it like that? seriously, what a waste." The man in blue tights had a somewhat mischievous, yet taunting grin on his face. Rin faced him, and steeled herself. If this person really was a servant, then she had to get out of the area quickly.

"A servant! Okay, let's get this down! You're an assassin class servant, correct? You managed to get the drop on me, after all!" Rin yelled at the man in blue tights, who happened to be carrying a spear. Enkidu shook its head. "Master, are you sure that's not an archer? He could hurl that spear at us from afar."

Rin frowned, then replied, "No, 'Saber!' You can't just throw a weapon and call yourself an archer!" Enkidu chuckled a bit, and replied, "Master, are you sure about that? I am less inclined to believe that's a fact."

The servant in blue tights held his spear, as he put himself in a throwing position. "Just for convenience, I am actually an archer servant, due to...yes, my hurling ability." Archer smirked. "But if you already know these terms...I'd assume that you're a Master, and your servant there is a Saber, right? Which would make you my enemy..."

Rin looked around, sweatdrops running down her face as she gritted her teeth. _"I'm fenced in at all sides...it'll cause much damage to the school ceiling, and if he starts throwing things at me...which apparently qualifies him as an archer, which I believe is total bullshit...I have to get out of here quickly!"_

"Trying to run, eh? Well, I suppose I shouldn't have stayed her and let curiosity get the better of me. But in short..." Archer then aimed his spear towards Rin. "Why don't we get to the point?'

Rin dashed towards the fencing, as she could hear multiple harpoons and spears landing a few centimeters after her feet. "Oh, what's wrong? Scared of a little Archer servant?!" the Archer taunted mockingly. "Though really, that E luck isn't doing me any favors." Archer added.

"Saber! Handle the landing!" Rin yelled, as she focused her mana in her legs as she reinforced it, before blasting herself off the roof. "Master! That was VERY risky!" Enkidu yelled for the first time, catching her and giving her a rough landing, as Rin ran forwards.

Unfortunately, Archer wasn't going to let Rin try to get away that easily. A spear shot towards her, her eyes widening as she heard the spear penetrating the air close to her, before it was deflected by Enkidu. Rin ran forwards a few more steps, before holding her heart in fear, that she nearly just died back then.

The green-haired servant fully materialized before Archer, holding two swords in a unique grip, in its right hand, the blade was pointed down, while in his left hand, its blade was pointed upwards. A stern look was in its eyes, as it swung its blades, before holding them in front of its chest.

"Good, good. You finally have shown yourself." Archer said, as he had two more spears in his grasp, seemingly always prepared to throw, before he spoke once more. "Looks like you're a Saber servant. What's your true name, Saber?"

'Saber' looked back at him. "It would not be in my Master's best interests to reveal my name, Archer." Archer glared at it, then let out a laugh. "Good, good! I like that attitude of yours...I wouldn't want an easy fight, after all."

Rin looked at Enkidu. If this servant really was the one who had killed the Bull of Heaven with Gilgamesh...then he had to prove it. "Saber. You shall receive no assistance from me. Prove your strength, right here right now!"

'Saber' nodded. "Understood, Master." It scanned Archer's parameters. Apparently despite being an Archer, this servant had surprisingly high agility stats as well. _"Strength: A. Endurance: B+. Agility: A. Mana: A. Luck: E. NP...A. Conclusion...Raise agility from A to A+, lower mana from A to B, lower endurance from A to B. In order to dodge or defend my master, I must be fast...faster than him."_

With a blast, 'Saber' suddenly disappeared. Archer's eyes widened, as he then flipped backwards, as 'Saber' slashed at him. Running forwards, 'Saber' dashed towards Archer, with Archer sending a few thrown spears at his way.

_"They're faster! and far more accurate!" '_Saber's' eyes widened as it dashed towards the side, avoiding the multitude of spears coming right after it, and then slashed at the Archer again. This time, Archer blocked the slash with the spear that he was holding, before continuously jabbing at 'Saber.'

'Saber' dodged the first strike towards its head by bending its neck over to the left, before it then did a backflip, before doing a sweeping slash and kick at Archer's legs. Archer, not the one to fall to such an easy trick, jumped upwards, before throwing more spears at 'Saber.'

"C'mon!" Archer yelled as 'Saber' defended itself from the constant hail of spears, spinning its swords around to deflect the numerous attacks, before it then kicked a spear right back at Archer. The spear narrowly missed Archer's face, as he growled, then stopping himself from throwing spears and instead jabbing his spear downwards towards 'Saber.'

'Saber's' expression didn't change this time as it parted its legs, the spear narrowly missing its ankles, before it then slammed its swords down towards right at the hands on the red spear that Archer wielded. "I think I've gotten your identity down! You're Musashi Miyamoto, aren't you?!" Archer yelled.

'Saber' kept on with his action, speaking as he attacked Archer. "I don't see why not." Archer shifted his grip on the spear, narrowly blocking the two swords. 'Saber' assaulted him multiple sword strikes and jabs before jumping up and kicking towards Archer, who blocked the jabs with his spears and blocked the kicks with his forearms.

"Gotcha." Archer grinned, as he unleashed a side kick as 'Saber' was about to do a scissor slash towards him. 'Saber' felt the kick connect with its chest, saliva involuntarily bursting out of its mouth from the shock of the blow, as it flew back, and looked at the direction it was going. It was about to collide with the building...but maybe, it could use that to its advantage.

Landing on the wall of the building, 'Saber' then used it as a structure to boost its jump, shooting itself right towards Archer. Archer hurled 2 spears at 'Saber,' who brought them down with its swords, then slashing down right at Archer.

Archer grunted as he jumped backwards, the dust and flying dirt that 'Saber' had generated flying up right into his line of sight, before throwing a javelin at 'Saber,' who caught it and threw it back at Archer, taking him by his shoulder armor and pinning him to a wall.

"Ugh..." Archer gritted his teeth as 'Saber' ran towards him, swords raised and prepared to deal a blow towards him. Separating himself from his shoulder armor, Archer then flipped back as 'Saber' slashed at him, doing a scissor slash and jabbed its swords into the ground before using them as leverage to launch itself at Archer.

Archer let his spear return to his hands, before blocking the blades that reached towards his throat. His eyes widening as the blades slipped passed the spear, he then thrust his spear forward, hoping that 'Saber' would withdraw and stop its in order to avoid a mutual kill.

"Kuhh!" 'Saber' gritted its teeth as it extended its legs with clay, using Archer's legs as leverage in order to push itself back, then crouched, digging its fingers into the dirt in order to stop its sheer momentum and accidentally causing property damage.

Archer glared at 'Saber,' as he twirled his javelin, then put himself in a combat-ready pose. "What the hell was that trick you pulled off?" he spat. He hadn't heard of a hero that could do such a thing, at least not one that had come to mind instantly.

'Saber' just shook itself, letting the dust drop off its hair. "Just consider it sheer luck on my behalf. As your luck is E...I doubt you contributed much." Archer looked at 'Saber's' parameters, fitting of such a strong opponent, its luck was A.

"Hmph. Here's a thing...I don't believe in destiny." Archer smirked, before throwing his javelin at 'Saber.' Dodging it, 'Saber' then raced up the building, as Archer's own javelin returned to his hands, and he ran after him, preparing to throw his javelin once more.

Reaching the peak of the building, 'Saber' blasted itself downwards to meet Archer, who initially prepared to throw his javelin, then stopped and moved back as soon as he saw 'Saber's' technique.

'Saber's' style was an unusual fighting stance that involved holding its right sword backhanded with the blade facing out and being behind it instead of in front of it. By doing this, the blades cut in a "circle" around it, very much like a beyblade, as it spun in the air, coming towards Archer at high speeds.

Archer jumped back as he then thrust out his spear, but his spear was in a horizontal position, locking his spear with the sword of 'Saber's' left hand, before jerking his weapon back, kicking 'Saber' to separate himself from his opponent, and with that, 'Saber's' sword was ripped out of its grasp.

Archer thrusted his spear once more, this time a blow towards the heart, with 'Saber' blocking it with the flat of its other blade, the blade shattering due to the sheer force of the spear thrust. Rin yelled, "'Saber!'" fearful that her servant was about to lose.

Enkidu dived down, ducking and putting his hands on the ground, with chains with spearheads at the end of them bursting out from the ground, shooting right towards Archer. Archer's eyes widened, as he then planted his spear into the ground, using it as leverage to throw himself away, with the spear returning to him.

"Okay...not to be a sore loser...but what the hell was that this time? You're so full of tricks, Saber." Archer growled. Enkidu was on all fours, its expression steeled and its clay hands tightening, before it spoke. "You know, I wouldn't be such a good guesser at this if you were throwing your spears all the time and didn't happen to have blue body paint everywhere."

Archer groaned. "No, no, no...don't you fucking dare...! I'd call you Musashi, but with these chains you just summoned from the ground...I'm less inclined to think that you are Musashi."

Enkidu said, "With your skill with the spear in both close combat and throwing, to be able to last against possibly even the king of heroes himself for an extremely long time...Cu Chulainn. Ireland's Child of Light."

Rin giggled. "How has the bankruptcy been doing for you, Cu?" she held a hand to her mouth, referring to the poor state of Ireland from the 1920s to the 1960s.

Cu Chulainn glared at her, and yelled. "Don't ruin this for me! What heroic spirit are you, O green-haired one?!" Enkidu formed two more swords in its hands, and then responded. "I just figured out yours, so I'd suppose that you should do the same."

Growling, Cu Chulainn held his spear, using a throwing position. However, this time, unlike his previous throws, his spear glowed red, scarlet lightning. "Don't worry. You won't have the pleasure of me figuring out your identity anymore." he grinned, before asking his opponent, "I'm sure you've heard of my Gae Bolg. If you're wondering why I have so many of them, the Gae Bolg isn't just a spear, it's a type of spear. But to get to the point...You'll face my strongest blow like a hero, won't you?!"

Enkidu planted all of its limbs on the ground, its back arching like a cat. "Then I expect you to face mine with dignity as well." it said, before the ground underneath it glowed golden, as Enkidu's eyes turned golden as well.

Rin bit her lip. _"This is bad...I don't want Enkidu using its noble phantasm right now...but even then, the other servant is about to use his own noble phantasm, there's no guarantee that Enkidu will survive unless it uses its noble phantasm as well...what should I do?!"_

Suddenly, a voice rang out in the courtyard. "OOOH, SHINY!"

Enkidu and Cu Chulainn both turned in that direction, their prana shutting down as they scanned the area. "WHO'S THERE?!" both of them yelled, before Cu chulainn ran after the voice.

"Quick, 'Saber!' We have to follow him! I don't want civilians to get involved in this war!" Rin yelled, as she ran up the stairs, before Enkidu whisked her up. "Master, that directly contradicts mage law. We must eliminate him, as per the law."

"Fuck mage law!" Rin protested, as Enkidu then set her down. She then looked at the body, lying down at the floor. "Looks like Archer got him first." she murmured, as she then walked over. "The least I can do is just to watch and comfort you as you die. After all, a stab in the heart form the Gae Bolg cannot be healed."

Then she saw his face. An angered and saddened look crept on. "Oh, no...ohhhhh no! Of all people that could've been here, why did it have to be you, stupid highjump kid?! How am I going face her like this?!"

Taking out a pendant, she gave a resigned sigh. "...of all the ways that I could've used this energy, I use on on saving your life...goddamnit." she muttered, as she began to reconstruct his heart. Enkidu just knelt besides her, before looking at the healed teenager, and whisking Rin off after she'd done the deed.

After they had got back home, Rin sighed, looked towards her servant whom she was tying pigtails for, and asked. "Enkidu...why didn't you object to my...understandably foolish deed?" she asked as she tied Enkidu's hair.

Enkidu responded, "My role is not to make decisions for you. I am a tool, nothing more. Besides, your deed was while not necessarily the most beneficial deed towards you, morally it is not incorrect, so I do not have anything against you for that matter."

"Well, do you think I should've saved him?" Rin said to Enkidu. Enkidu proceeded to shake its head, and sighed. "No. In fact, I presume that he'll just keep on getting chased and killed by Archer instead."

Rin's eyes widened. "Enkidu. We're heading out again."

"Understood."

* * *

"Keep on going...a few more jumps...there! We're close enough." Rin instructed Enkidu, who was jumping on buildings and had accidentally crushed a TV antenna along the way. Setting her down, Rin ran forwards, as Enkidu's eyes widened.

With its presence detection, Enkidu had realized that there was another servant nearby. Unfortunately for it, it had assumed that the servant was still Cu Chulainn, not a new servant with similar origins as Archer...and now was its realization. "RIN!"

A female servant dressed in blue and white burst out of Shirou Emiya's yard, yelling, "BRB!" before bringing her invisible blade down towards Rin. Rin's eyes widened, before Enkidu flashed before her, with the two swords once again blocking and saving her.

"What class are you, servant?" the female servant pointed at Enkidu.

"I believe my swords make this very apparent: I am of the saber class." Enkidu said.

The female servant frowned, before then attacking once more. "No...you're not...I'm Saber."

Enkidu glanced over at Rin, who facepalmed from sheer embarrassment. Shirou ran out, looking at Saber, and yelled to her, "You're going to kill someone?!"

Saber yelled, "Look, fighting first, questions later!" Shirou yelled back, "Can I have at least a simple explanation?"

While the two were arguing, Enkidu scanned Saber's parameters. _"Strength: B. Endurance: C. Agility: C. Mana: B. Luck: B. N.P.: C. None of her parameters top mine. Additionally, there is a wound near her shoulder, likely from the Gae Bolg. Conclusion: she is easy prey."_

"Don't you dare use a command seal on me without warning! And do not use it to make me do things such as destroying the Grail, suicide, and-" Saber ranted to Shirou, who was asking for an explanation for the tattoos on his hand, before he cut her off.

"Saber...why is that...person glowing?" Shirou asked.

Enkidu burst forward, weapons tearing out of the ground, chains shooting out and binding Saber, and Enkidu propelled itself, closing in for a killing blow.

Rin yelled, "Lancer!"

* * *

**Well, I suppose that ends the chapter there. I've checked for mistakes or any signs of OOC, but I don't know if I've caught all of them. If there are, please either review or PM me, do give all criticisms that you want.**

**But anyway, what do you think? Please review, I'd love to hear what you think and I'll try to reply to reviews in the next chapter.**


	2. Steroids, Priest, and Lolis

**Well, holy shit! I...wasn't expecting such a large number of followers and favorites within less than 24 hours. Thank you for your reviews, and hopefully as last time, enjoy!**

* * *

Enkidu stopped at the final moment, its weapons inches away from Saber's face. _"Master. I highly suggest that you allow me to eliminate the Saber servant now, before she finds a better master who can supply her with more mana." _It telepathically said.

Rin smiled. _"Don't worry, Lancer...I have an idea. Lancer. Do you sense any other servants_ around?" Enkidu replied telepathically,_ "Yes. I sense an extremely powerful servant...enough to trouble me, with so much rage...it should be Berserker."_

The smile became smaller, as Enkidu could hear her mental laughs ringing across its ears, and it wondered what she had in mind. _"Well, maybe they can test the waters for us. After all, I do somewhat know that boy...this should be all to easy."_

"Shirou...I had no idea that you'd be in the Holy Grail War..." Rin said, as she chuckled a bit. Saber swung her invisible sword at Enkidu, who simply dodged it, and returned to its master's side. "My Master would like to have some words with you two before you attack us. After all..."

Enkidu steeled itself, and finished its point. "Your master doesn't have much knowledge of the Grail War, from what my Master said." Saber gripped her blade, her knuckles turning white as her instincts told her the last thing she should do would be to fight this green-haired servant, before lowering her weapon.

"I will consider, though I'd like you to elaborate on what I presume to be your terms. And inform that bugger of a master of the holy grail war. Bugger..." Saber mused. "Is this what people say nowadays?"

Rin looked at Shirou. "Besides, Saber, your master and I are classmates. It'd be quite sad if we came to blows, wouldn't it?" she said. Saber wondered if she actually was telling the truth. True, they were classmates, but even then, magi were not exactly normal in terms of their mindsets...

Shirou folded his arms. "Well, come into my house and have some tea. Maybe that'll calm both sides down. Oh and by the way, green haired person, I'm Shirou. Saber, this is Rin." Shirou said, before opening his door to motion them to come in. Enkidu looked towards its master, who nodded and walked in.

"So, first things first, would you like to explain to me what the Grail War is?" Shirou asked as he sat down. Rin sat down in front of him, with Enkidu sitting down besides her, who stared at the tea with much interest.

_"Master, you don't seem to be in a hurry to want Saber, even though she's supposedly the strongest class."_ Enkidu thought to her. Rin smiled, before replying telepathically, _"Seriously, it's not everyday you get to stumble upon a lancer class that doesn't just only have E rank luck, but can even raise it to EX rank if it wants to!" _Shirou waved his hand in front of her face to catch her attention.

Rin then regained her focus. "Okay, first off, before we get to the basics, we need a few emergency warnings! First off, these tattoos, known as command seals, aren't candy! Use them all and Saber disappears! Do you want Saber to disappear?"

Shirou looked at the beautiful blonde right besides him. "...nooo? And what are the blue and green guys anyway? How are they so strong?" Saber turned towards him, before speaking in a manner that tried to be calm and refined.

"We are heroes of old, summoned to fight a bloody war for the Holy Grail." Saber said. Rin added in a rather unhelpful way, "And spoiler alert, it's just named the Holy Grail since it's cool, it's not actually the Holy Grail itself."

Shirou didn't seem to mind Rin's "useful" information, instead focusing on Saber's words, and began to fanboy, "You guys are heroes?! In a war here? Are you for real?! That's so cool!" Enkidu and Saber both said at the same time, "4 real."

Rin continued her lesson for Shirou. "The Holy Grail War is a tradition that has occurred in Fuyuki City for five times, this is the fifth time, fought between competent mages...and people like you."

Saber remembered Waver and even worse, Ryuunuoske, whom the latter didn't seem to display any magecraft as he was easily killed by Kiritsugu. "That's quite harsh, but I wouldn't call that untrue."

Shirou protested, "I'm a mage too!" Rin crossed her arms. "And how long did you train?" Shirou held his head down sheepishly. "Not...very long." he replied to her.

Enkidu looked at them. "But Shirou, do know that if you're truly a normal human being, I highly recommend you dropping out of the Holy Grail War. After all, the magi here are absolute monsters. Rin is already quite dangerous herself, and she's just a teenager. Imagine what damage an adult Rin could do."

Shirou couldn't exactly form it in his mind. "Let me get this straight. How...dangerous is Rin exactly? If she's a full-fledged mage, then that means she can do better magic than me, correct? Like Harry Potter?"

Rin sighed, and shook her head. "No, Shirou. You, can do magecraft. Only a caster servant would be able to do something that even resembles magic. AND NO! NOT HARRY FUCKING POTTER!" she yelled at him, as Enkidu raised an eyebrow.

"So..." Shirou began. "Is there a better explainer than you?"

Rin folded her arms. "Yeah, the Holy Church, my teacher, Kirei Kotomine." Saber gritted her teeth, while Enkidu simply had a nonchalant expression on its face. Saber sighed. "Yeah, I don't like the sound of him. I'm not going in, my instincts tell me no. He sounds catholic."

* * *

"Hello, Kirei! I brought someone to be psychologically brutalized by you! Have fun with that!" Rin said as she entered the church with Enkidu and Shirou, with Kirei hurriedly closing the door to his cellar, then coming to the chapel's center.

"Rin, what is so important that you must come over here at such a late night?" Kirei asked, before he noticed the command seals upon Shirou's left hand. "Oh...so I see, you brought a master to my presence, Rin. Is there anything that I may help you with? Do you plan on allying with him?"

Rin laughed, and shook her head. "I'd say that I'm undecided. It'd just be bad sport if I had my swanky servant...who is Ishtar, mind you, kill his servant so early in the war." Enkidu's left eye twitched as soon as it heard Rin call it Ishtar. True, it was simply a ruse, but being called the name of the perpetrator of its death didn't sit well with it.

"You cannot summon divine spirits, Rin. You of all people should know that." Kirei said, though he wondered if it actually would be possible with a few tricks. After all, Tokiomi could've left something to her that'd give her a sort of cheat device, being a part of one of the families who designed the ritual...but no matter, Gilgamesh could handle it.

"Well, why is my servant, telling me that she's Ishtar?" Rin said to Kirei. Kirei sighed, before directing his gaze towards Shirou. "Enough of that, Rin. I'd like to focus on the more important subject at hand. So..what have you come here for?"

Shirou replied, "I'm a mage. I'm a bit worried about dying." Rin added unhelpfully, "And he's a shitty mage at that. He doesn't know the difference between magic and magecraft."

Kirei replied to him, "Well, that's unfortunate. The Grail oftentimes pulls in stragglers to fill in the ranks of the other four that aren't part of the 3 main families. Last time, it was a serial killer. Are you...a serial killer?"

Shirou replied, "Well, not yet. I'm just a high school student." Kirei sighed. "Well, that's much less interesting. But to the point...I can offer you shelter and can transfer your servant to another master. However. I would like to have your name, so I can list you down with a unique title: the master who quit before a single servant died."

"Well, I'm not fond of your tone, but..." Shirou said to the priest, "Shirou Emiya."

Kirei's expression, at first bored, then slowly curved into a slight smile. He clenched his hand, to the point that one could hear the faint sound of fingers cracking. "Emiya...No way!" he murmured, before continuing "May you spell that?"

Shirou frowned, and spelled his name. "E - EM - I - WHY - A." Kirei smiled, as he then murmured to himself, "Lord Jesus, my faith in you has been restored, your love is everlasting." He then looked at Shirou right in the eyes, and began to speak.

"But about your wish..." Kirei said, as Shirou then frowned, surprised at the prospect of a wish. "A wish? What wish?"

Kirei chuckled. "Oh? Did Rin not tell you? The winner of the Holy Grail War, when 6 servants have fallen and one's servant is still standing, will have the chance to make a wish upon the Holy Grail." Shirou asked for clarification, "Any wish?"

Kirei confirmed his curiosity, "Yes...any wish." Shirou pondered for a second, before saying, "Like...to have superpowers and to save innocent people? Does that work?" Kirei chuckled, as he nodded slowly. "Yes. Even stupid ones. Surely staying in the Grail War, and subjecting yourself to its horrible, psychological and physical trials...is worth such an innocent and pure wish?"

Shirou sighed. "Well, you aren't wrong, Kotomine Kirei..."

Kirei chuckled. "Ooooh~, say my name once more, all distrustful like that." Enkidu frowned, and nudged Rin. "I don't know about you, but does this sound...what humans call...sexual?" Rin groaned. "Goddamnit, Lancer, you just had to make it weird."

Normally Kirei would tell Rin to not use the Lord's name in vain, but he was too induldged within Shirou's words, who said once more, "Kotomine...Kirei?" Kirei chuckled, and exhaled. "Oooh~, I love it..."

Shirou sighed. This priest must be catholic, but that didn't matter. "I choose to fight." Kirei's footsteps sounded around the chapel, as his voice that was so much like melted chocolate resounded once more. "Eeexcellent~"

"If this is what it takes to save innocents on a global level...then I choose to fight. I'm not going to let this chance disappear!" Shirou clenched his fist, as Rin mentally facepalmed while smiling at the same time, while Enkidu just gave a reassuring smile.

"I couldn't be happier with your decision," Kirei said as he approached the chapel doors, and opened it. "Shirou. Emiya."

Shirou looked at Rin and Lancer. "...I'm leaving. He's creeping me out."

* * *

The four walked across the streets, as Enkidu whispered telepathically to Rin. _"I can sense the berserker. Once I give you a signal like...EE? jump into my arms, and I'll get to the furthest location possible."_

Rin smiled. _"C'mon, if you can even beat the bull of heaven with Gilgamesh and humiliate Ishtar by throwing that giant ass at her, I'm sure even Berserker wouldn't stand a chance against you...we should still see, though."_

Shirou looked at Rin. "So...is this where we part ways? Or...should I say..." Enkidu mouthed the letters "E E" to Rin, and she jumped into its arms, the Lancer-class servant jumping off into the distance. Shirou frowned as the two of them went off. "What's their problem...?"

"Shirou! An enemy!" Saber yelled as her instinct told her that there was an enemy around. Shirou turned to see a hulking giant mass of muscle, with a little albino loli dressed in purple right beside the giant. "Oh my gosh...these abs...I want that..."

The little girl giggled, as she curtseyed. "Oni-chan~ you've noticed me finally. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Illyasviel von Em-I mean, Einzbern. My long-dead parents referred to me as tiny murder machine. So I'd suppose that you'd be our first opponent of the war...well, how funny it is."

Illyasviel chuckled as she noticed that the servant standing before her was most likely a Saber servant. Her father had taken up a Saber servant and...given that he had promised to come back but never did...this didn't put her in a good mood.

"What's so funny?" Shirou asked, as he looked at the enemy steroid servant. Illya giggled. "Oh, it's just that the lot of you two..." she looked right into his eyes, sending shivers down his spine. "Will provide me with excellent entertainment."

"GAARRR!" Berserker roared as he jumped towards the two, and Saber blocked his strike with her invisible sword. Shirou, obviously excited and pumped up, started to fanboy. "OMG! How many years did he train for all that muscle mass? What kind of challenges did he go through? How many steroids did he inject?!"

Saber held Berserker back, as she looked backwards towards Shirou. "I've got this! You can either watch, or if you think you're good enough to take on the enemy master, go get her!...I recommend the former instead of the latter."

The two servants drew their weapons back for another parry, before Saber then attacked, only for her strikes to be blocked by the Berserker. Berserker roared as he struck downwards, right towards her invisible sword.

Analyzing the situation, Saber's instincts told her that Berserker was for now, far too close for comfort. Unleashing a mana burst, she pushed Berserker back with the shockwave, who then landed in a combat ready-stance.

Saber dashed forwards, parrying Berserker's wild and unkempt blows once more. For all the skill that he lacked, it was not a problem as his blows were so strong and fast that Saber found it hard to exploit them anyway, and could not afford to take many a blow.

Jumping over one of his wild swings, she then dashed around him, before parrying with him once more. Looking upwards, she saw him prepare to swing down, and she jumped to the side, before landing on the club, and pushing it downwards.

"Now before I take a liking to you...die!" Saber yelled, as her invisible sword approached his neck to lop his ugly head off. Berserker's red eyes darted to her hands, then let go of the club, before doing a flip-kick backwards, then punching and kicking her.

Saber landed on the grass, as she growled. "Okay, this is borderline hax. hax...I never used this type of word. Cheat? Why isn't berserker going berserk?" she muttered to herself, as she held her sword for another encounter.

"A ranked across the board except for his luck stat, which is a B...Lancer, what are your thoughts?" Rin asked as the two of them watched the fight from afar, with binoculars. Lancer looked at Berserker. "Well, I wasn't wrong when I said he was a big deal. I suppose a tactical retreat was the right choice."

Rin looked at Lancer, with a "really" look on her face. "You mean running." she said to her servant. Lancer coughed a bit, and let out a sheepish smile. "I suppose you can describe it as that way if you want to..."

Thinking about the war, she then remembered her father. "What was Gilgamesh like, Lancer?" Lancer let out a surprised expression, not expecting such a question out of the blue. "Master, I believe you don't need to focus everything on that topic. I'd willingly tell you my experiences, but still, we need to watch Berserker."

Rin put back on her binoculars. "Yeah, you've got a point there. But seriously...gosh, Saber does look pretty good. I'd hit that."

Saber jumped backwards as Berserker swung his club backwards, landing on the sidewalk and backing off into the graveyard, eyeing the albino loli before using mana burst to blast herself backwards. Illya looked at them.

"Well, Berserker will run over you, no matter what. You'll always be the victim of his traffic accident." she said, before she noticed the red haired-boy running over. "Stop! I'm going to have you to stop hurting...well, make sure you don't hurt anyone! And at this point, your servant is causing a lot of property damage!"

Berserker smashed the sidewalk in an attempt to catch Saber, almost as if to prove Shirou's point. Illyasviel turned towards him. "Oh, Oni-chan..." her words sent shivers down Shirou's spine, as she calmly walked towards him. "I'd presume you know someone by the name of Kiritsugu...Emiya."

Shirou replied with a tinge of defiance, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Illya asked him, "so...is he still alive?"

Shaking his head, Shirou replied, "no."

Illya's eyes seemed to darken a bit, as her expression changed from a sense of sadistic curiosity to disappointment. "Oh. well, this is awkward. Oh hey, look." she pointed to Berserker bashing Saber's invisible sword so hard that she flew in to the air, before with his superior agility, he appeared right above her and slammed his club right into her armor, sending her shooting down right into the cemetery.

"Saber's getting beaten up. I think you should focus on that. Let's continue this conversation never." Illya said, before Shirou yelled, "Saber!" running towards her. Chuckling, Illya began to pull out her hair, forming animal familiars.

"Of all the words you could've chosen to say...you chose the most generic option, yelling someone's name." she said, before letting her animal familiars shoot at him. Shirou's eyes widened as he began to run, the blasts hitting the floor behind his feet.

"Hey! As a soon to be hero of justice...I cannot allow you to cause any more...PROPERTY DAMAGE! It was bad enough when Berserker did it, but that's Berserker, he can't even talk! Now you're doing it! That's enough to know that I have to save the property from you...and save you...from me. Well, that was awkward."

Illya looked at him. "You think you can stop me, onii-chan?" she giggled, as she stroked her bird familiar's wings. Shirou nodded. "Obviously! Once I get through your magic, you're toast! You may be a mage, but that means you must've neglected your body!"

"Oh, oni-chan..." Illya giggled, as the bird began rising up. "Kiritsugu must've taught you very little." Shirou's eyes glanced upwards, as a ball of energy shot towards him, and he leapt to the side, narrowly dodging the ball of energy.

"I want that..." he murmured to himself, before the bird then transformed into a sword, as it shot towards him, emitting a yell from him, before he began to run, with another white bird flying after him. "I'm warning you, I like cats! Especially big ones! Like lions!" he yelled, hoping that the mention of cats could scare the bird off.

Meanwhile, Saber looked as Berserker showed signs of almost stumbling upon the tombstones. She was right to take the fight to uneven ground, where Berserkers would have a harder time moving around when they were all focused on attacking.

Jumping up, she dodged another of his wild swings as he jumped up to follow her. As soon as she saw an opening, she swung her sword downwards at Berserker, mana-bursting to boost the blow, as she sent him hurtling down to the ground.

Berserker crouched on the floor, before rising up, still relatively unharmed. Saber looked at him. "Well, Berserker...you're quite a skilled and enjoyable opponent, even managing to see through my invisible blade, despite all that mad rage limiting your cognitive functions. Normally I'd ask for your identity..."

She then bent her knees, prepared to propel herself forward. "But since there's a chance of you being someone I knew back in my lifetime, and that you apparently can't speak, I'm going to pass!" she yelled, right before Berserker slammed his club onto the ground.

A wave of stone and dirt burst from the earth, showering the cemetary and disgracing the bodies of the dead, not that anyone cared. Charging through the wave, Saber emerged with only a small cut on her face from the debris, her armor having protected her from the blow, before stabbing her sword forwards.

"Seriously?!" she yelled as the dust cleared to reveal that Berserker had grabbed onto her invisible sword, preventing it from piercing him. He raised his club, as he then brought it down, holding her invisible sword in place in order to keep her in place.

Saber gritted her teeth. At this point, she only had two options seen to her. The first one would to try to tank a point-blank blow from Berserker. The second would be to let go of her sword, allowing Berserker to throw it away and rendering her weaponless for a while, and thus every part of her would be defenseless.

However, with her instincts, she then saw a third option. "Excaaaa..." Berserker gripped on the sword tighter, as it jerked it upwards to provide himself more space to crush her with his club. "LIIIIIII..." Berserker roared, before swinging the club down.

"POOOOOOOKE!" Saber yelled, as a bright but thin stream of light emerged from her sword, impaling and disintegrating Berserker's top half. Illya pointed at her. "King Arthur! Bur or Poke, I get it!"

Shirou's eyes widened. "Wait, King Arthur? But...isn't she a girl? Is it not Queen Arthur? Or Queen Saber? Or-AAAH!" another bird flew after him, sending him running once more. Illya rolled her eyes. "He didn't even know his servant's identity? What a loser."

She then noticed that Berserker was dead. "Oh my gosh, he's dead, what do I do now?" Saber landed in front of her, her blade positioned for the kill, as she looked at her. "I can only promise to give you a quick and dignified death, Einzbern. After all...I must win the grail."

Shirou ran after them, having somewhat shaken off the bird. "Saber! Wait! Don't kill her!" he yelled, as Saber glared at him. "Master! There is very little you understand in this war yet! Please, leave this to me!" she then redirected her gaze towards the Einzbern.

To Saber's surprise, the Einzbern wasn't trembling in fear. In fact, there were slight hints of giggles. "Oh, how unlucky of you, Saber." Saber's eyebrows creased, as she said one word. "What?"

Then a club slammed into her side, before an unearthly roar erupted from the mad warrior who had assaulted her once more. Shirou yelled once more, "Saber!" Saber landed right besides him, blood streaking her face and her body, as she then tried to rise up once more. "Saber! Didn't you kill him? I thought people die when they're killed!" Shirou yelled as he helped her up.

"Master...use your command seals. I want you to use one of them to power...my noble phantasm. Command Seals can be a mana source...therefore, use that." Saber said to him. Shirou frowned. "...how?" he asked, not knowing how to do so. Saber replied to him, "Just say something along the words of 'Saber, I order you to use your noble phantasm.'"

"Alright..." Shirou said, as the command seals on his hand glowed. "Saber...I command you to use your noble phantasm! Defeat Berserker for once and for all!" Saber's eyes glowed golden as she felt the surge of mana in her body, and she lifted her sword up. "Exxxx...caaaa...liiii...BUUURRRR!"

However, this time, to her surprise, Berserker didn't even try to dodge the blow, with the only warning she got was Illya's smirk. The beam of light crashed into the giant steroid man, and washed around him, before dissipating.

Saber's eyes widened. "...that's not...possible. When I used a powered-down version...you died...why isn't he dead?" Illya let out the cutest yet an extremely psychotic giggle, before walking forwards, touching Berserker's hand.

"That's his noble phantasm, god hand. In life, Hercules accomplished 12 labors that would normally take away any man's life, and this manifests as his noble phantasm: giving him 12 lives. So in short, you'll have to kill him 12 times...and no, you can't use the same method twice. I'd consider him to be quite lucky that he took that small dose of Excalibur that only took away one life so he could tank the full-on shot that could've had a chance of taking more than 4 of his lives...consider it to be akin to a vaccine." Illya said.

Saber gritted her teeth, as she looked at them. "why...are you telling us this?" she asked, as her knees gave way from the mana drain. Illya cupped her chin, before lifting it up to eye level. "Because I know that you won't ever tell anyone about it."

Rin and Enkidu's eyes widened as more craters appeared in the graveyard. "Okay...Lancer...that was...what do you think? Do you believe you can beat him?" Lancer nodded. "I have faith in myself. However, I do not believe that I will come out unscathed or at least draining you of significant mana."

Rin nodded. "Alright. I suppose our best course of action would be to team up with the other servants to beat him. I'm thinking Cu chulainn...irish hercules against the Hercules...that would be cool." Enkidu looked at Berserker stuffing Saber's disappearing body into a hole and puting a tombstone on it, before returning its gaze to its master.

Concluding, Rin crossed her arms. "We'll find all of the servants first. And we'll make it look like to Berserker that we're a threat...so he won't attack us and this area for a few days to buy us time." she giggled, and put her hand on Enkidu's shoulder. "That'll be on you, Lancer."

Enkidu frowned. "Wait, Master...me? What...exactly am I supposed to say?" Rin shook him. "Just say something cool, damnit! Make yourself look like a badass, and make it seem like that he can die when he's killed!"

"Understood, Master."

Another thought came to Rin's head. "Also, save Shirou...and don't ask why."

"why?" Enkidu asked, only eliciting a glare. "Very well."

Meanwhile, Berserker held Shirou by the shoe and hoisted him high up, while Illya had a stick and a blindfold on her head as she tried to hit Shirou. "Let me down, damnit! I'm not a piñata!" Shirou yelled before a stick collided with his head and knocked him out. If he wasn't knocked out, he would've felt a sudden burst of wind as he was separated from his shoe.

Illya spun around as she took off her blindfold. "What?! Another servant?" Enkidu held Shirou, as Rin put her hands on her hips. "Hm..." she had a smug look on her face, before she then looked at Enkidu. "Lancer."

Lancer dropped Shirou. "Right, my cue. So...it seems that you'd killed Saber, haven't you?" Illya nodded. "yes, Berserker did it." A slow clap resounded from the servant, as it then looked at Illya in the eyes, giving her a sense of insecurity, as she steeled herself.

"Well, I applaud your berserker. I'll be taking this boy, as my Master has some sort of connection with him. He, after all, is just a high schooler who doesn't know anything..." It said, as Berserker emitted a low growl from its mouth.

"Oh, no. I won't fight you today." Enkidu said, as Berserker lowered its club. Illya frowned, and asked, "What's your deal here?"

Enkidu said, without a tinge of smugness or fear, in an ambivalent tone, " Such a powerful mage as you, Einzbern could possibly be capable of regenerating this servant's lives, correct?" It said as it helped Rin in dragging Shirou, kicking a can out of the way, only for it to bounce off a pole and hit Shirou instead. "Ow!"

Illya nodded. "Yes..." she said, watching the green-haired servant walk away from them with Rin dragging Shirou. It then turned back to look at them. "When Berserker's got all of his lives back...come back and fight me. It'd be a shame if he couldn't bring out his best."

Gathering both Rin and Shirou in its arms, Enkidu jumped off into the distance. Illya glared at them, as numerous worrisome thoughts clouded her head. _"Who is this servant...this servant actually challenged Berserker tp fight at its fullest, instead of attacking while Berserker didn't have all of his lives back?...Which servant did the Tohsakas summon this time?!"_

Placing Shirou in his bed, Enkidu looked at Rin. "If you see him tomorrow, what would you do?" Rin crossed her hips. "I'll just act like nothing happened, and pretend I don't know what he's talking about. He'll just wipe it off as a dream."

* * *

"You look like you've had a good night, Kirei." a rich, young voice belonging to a blond man said in the chapel. "Has the news of another Emiya, unleashed some new, hedonistic, nostalgic hormones slash pleasure within you?" Kirei smiled, in a creepy fashion that only a pedophilloic catholic priest would.

"Yes...as a good father, I must be...attentive, to a son." Kirei replied. Gilgamesh straightened his jacket. "I wonder what your daughter would think of him. after all, it would be quite ironic if they ended up screwing each other, wouldn't it?"

Kirei sighed. "Gilgamesh, such dirty thoughts do not belong in the house of God." Gilgamesh retorted, "I could bind that invisible mongrel! Just you wait!" Kirei sighed. "Whatever. It seems that it really might be Ishtar...after all, that maiden-I wouldn't say maiden, considering she's the goddes of love and sex...but that woman, does look quite fine."

Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow. "What did she dress like?" Kirei replied, "A simple white tunic...maybe to cover up herself to make her seem unassuming and less probable of being Ishtar."

"Hair color? Any weapons?" Gilgamesh asked. The response was a simple "Green. No weapons."

The news of this sent a flash of glee in Gilgamesh's eyes, as he then rose up, taking a swig of wine.

"Either it's you, my old friend...or it's that bitch."

* * *

**Well, I suppose that ends the chapter there. I've checked for mistakes or any signs of OOC, but I don't know if I've caught all of them. If there are, please either review or PM me, do give all criticisms that you want. Note: I should've clarified this last chapter, but please exclude things that Abridged!Characters would say and OG!Characters wouldn't say.**

**But anyway, what do you think? Please review, I'd love to hear what you think and I'll try to reply to reviews in the next chapter.**

**Now for response to your reviews:**

**ian25rebel: "Any sign of OOC? Considering that you pulled off a few abridged moments that I recognized, this story was quite interesting. Let's see best clay in action."**

**Alright, Ian25Rebel...yeah, she's more like Abridged!Rin than normal Rin (whom I think the former is more Rin than OG Rin). Also, it's not gay if it's clay.**

**KiroZen: "So what are the servants' classes? Which ones changed to what?"**

**They're still mostly the same. It's just that Rin has now summoned Lancer Enkidu, while Bazzet summoned an Archer Cu Chulainn who then got stolen by Kirei. All of the other classes are the same, it's just that lancer and archer have been switched around.**

**PoseidonisPlayz**** : "Between the use of the Abridged equivalent of the Nasuverse characters, which makes this like 20x funnier, and the fact that you used Enkidu, one of the coolest Servants in the Nasuverse in my opinion, this is probably one of the best fanfics I've read in a while.**

**Especially since it's well-written, and you didn't just cross-off Cu and replaced him since he was a lancer."**

**Thank you for enjoying this, I personally find some abridged characters (like Rin) to be more memorable than their OG counterparts.**

**I did think about crossing off Cu, but then I remember that Bazzett really wanted to summon Cu ever since she was a kid, and since an archer version him was possible according to Fate/accel/royal or something(can't remember the name)...I decided to have a bit of fun with that. Apparently throwing stuff makes you an archer.**

**Superpierce: "it's impossible to summon Divine spirits they would be to much for the Grail Rin knows this she's been studying the mechanics of the holy grail war under Kirei."**

**You're exactly right, Kirei addressed that in the first chapter. However, I did say that Rin was based on Abridged!Rin instead, and in the abridged version she calls Archer "actually Satan," who would theoretically be a divine spirit, which makes Rin mistaking Enkidu to be Ishtar more of a joke based on another joke.**

**ZenoZen: "****funny and enjoyable. See you soon on next chapter."**

**Thank you, I hope i'll see you on the next review.**

**StringofRandomNumbers: "****This is turning out to be quite interesting."**

**I'd suppose that I'd agree.**

**Frozen Flame: "****Enkidu in what I dearly hope is the UBW Abridged verse. You have my attention."**

**Yes, it KINDA is the UBW abridged verse, but due to fundamental differences such as Archer not being there and Saber being taken out early, therefore Shirou loses a lot of importance in the war, it'll turn out to be a bit different.**

**Suzululu4moe: Lol I like her attitude. Ahah her misunderstanding of his identity."**

**Yes, and I intentionally wrote her to misunderstand in the worst possible way(Enkidu doesn't like Ishtar, to clarify).**

**Ivan Tridelan**

**"Interesting concept, and one I don't think has been done before.**

**As far as OOC issues...**  
**1) Shirou going "Ooh, shiny!" Really?**  
**2) Saber's "BRB" isn't even remotely in character. In canon she says something along the lines of "Please stay here, I will deal with the enemy" Also, her saying to "not use command seal to destroy the grail" doesn't make sense since canonically she tries to pretend she's a normal servant with a complication involving her summoning as an excuse to not be able to astralize.**  
**3) Rin using the F word completely breaks her character. With the potential exception of being around Luvia she likes to conduct herself with "the grace and elegance befitting a Tohsaka" (though being around Shirou's compulsive stupidity takes its toll on that attitude, that doesn't develop until after they start interacting during the war)"**

**Thank you, I don't know if it's been done before...but whatever. Now to your Issues...1), I'll take that, admittedly that was played for laughs, but still, I'll take it. You probably should've elaborated on that instead of just "really," but I understand what you're trying to convey. **

**However, for 2) and 3) I'm going to assume that you disregarded my warning that this is far more like the abridged series than the OG series because I find the abridged series to be FAR more memorable at least in terms of dialogue, because that sounds like it right now. I'm really not sure how I feel about filling out 1k words in replying to your reviews because I had to clarify that it's based far more on the abridged series than the original series because if I have to do this every chapter, it's going to become a pain in the ass even when I put a notice at the top of the chapter. But onto your individual points...Saber's "BRB" is due to her recieivng new knowledge about modern slang, and just like in the abridged series, she uses it, with awkward results at times. Her references to fate zero are also a reference to UBW abridged where she makes some pretty funny references. Rin's use of vulgarity is far more apparent in the abridged series, as one of the first words she says to archer is "DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!" and since this is based more on the abridged series by Project Mouthwash than the original, I rest my case.**

**Hrosanna: "I feel like this is gonna be such a train wreck and I love it. You've got a sort of funny spin going which doesn't suspend disbelief and interesting character interactions that promise future payoff even this early on. It's such a great feeling when you catch on to ch 1 of something this promising just past posting :)"**

**By train wreck, I'm assuming you mean that it's going to be chaotically hilariously interesting...and yes, I will keep on with the fate-related humor.**


	3. Don't Be a Dick, Shinji

"You look so much better like this~" Rin said, as she tied Enkidu's hair into two twintails, not unlike her own hairstyle. Enkidu waited patiently as Rin tied up the finishing touches. "So, Master Rin, tonight was quite busy. I trust that you'd get some sleep now?"

Rin nodded, trying her best not to yawn. "yes, that will be the case..." she said as she headed to her room. "Hey, Enkidu. Wanna have a bit of a sleepover? I know you can't sleep, but...wanna try it out?" The green-haired servant blinked in surprise, not expecting its master to do such a thing that was usually only between friends.

"I do not mind." Enkidu said as it followed Rin into the bedroom. "Goodnight, Master." it said as it tucked itself into the blankets, besides Rin. Rin smiled. "Goodnight to you too, Enkidu."

_Rin found herself in a mountainous region, as she looked upon a swirl of clay, spinning in the air akin to a tornado. Forming in the sky, it twisted and contorted as it was created, before being set upon the land. _

_It was a huge monster, akin to a bear, yet with antlers still on its head. As it ran towards her direction, Rin flinched and braced herself, but to her surprise, the monster ignored her, instead grazing on the grass along with other animals._

_As it grazed, it looked towards the distant city, as if wondering if something was calling for it. However, it did not dwell on this thought for long, as a few moments later it began to run along in the wild mountainous region with the animals once more._

_As time passed by, Rin then noticed a figure slowly coming towards the beast. The figure had Enkidu's beautiful appearance, yet she still looked far more feminine than it. "So this is Anu's bidding, correct? Then I shall do as he says."_

_The beast noticed her, before then giving out a slow rumble as a warning. The woman did not flinch, still walking forwards in a slow stride, as the beast watched with interest. Laying a hand on its snout, the woman said, "Hello, Enkidu. My name is Shamhat. It is my duty to bring you to an understanding of humanity."_

_The beast's eyes blinked, as it then knelt down, and followed the woman. Rin, desiring to see more, followed them, as she looked at the tent that Shamhat had made. If her memory was correct, Shamhat was a prostituite...and she put a hand on her mouth._

_She was not sure if she wanted to see what came next. As she peeked into the tent, she then realized that the beast had changed. Hair came from its head, in a light-green hue, not unlike Shamhat herself. "So...this is how...you became human, isn't it?"_

_The rest was almost like a flash, as everything began to fasten and unravel in front of her eyes, before she then realized that Enkidu had finally assumed its form, that she was personally familiar with. It looked so much like Shamhat, yet in a way, it lacked the sort of feminine charm that Shamhat had._

_"Shamhat...I finally understand my mission. My name is Enkidu, the chains of heaven. I shall impose the wrath and judgement on the puppet of the gods." Enkidu said as it rose up, then embraced Shamhat. Shamhat gazed at the clay figure, who had shaped itself in her image, yet was still somewhat taller than her._

_"Enkidu...as a sacred prostituite, would you like to know what my profession entails?" she said, as she traced her hand down Enkidu's cheek. Enkidu had a somewhat limited understanding of such a gesture of affection, but as she was the first human it had ever met, it did not try to deny the touch._

_"I do not mind, Shamhat. After all, I suppose it would be nice to experience what you call...culture." Enkidu replied, as Shamhat nodded. She then said to him, "You may have assumed my outwards appearance, but what is your inwards appearance?"_

_Rin held her face, as she felt her cheeks turn red hot. "Oh no, no..." she didn't want to see it, yet she couldn't bear to peel her eyes away from the act that was about to be done. Enkidu frowned towards Shamhat. "My inwards appearance?...what do you mean?"_

_Shamhat giggled, as she then placed her hands on Enkidu's shoulders, slowly removing the simple white tunic that covered its body. "It's not like everyday you can get to bed one who is so similar to yourself, Enkidu."_

_Enkidu had a confused look on its face as its shoulders were revealed, with Shamhat running her hands down on its shoulders and caressing the smooth, pale skin. Rin turned her back, holding her face as she knew what was coming._

_However, she did not run away, as part of her had fallen into the temptation to see more. As she looked towards Enkidu and Shamhat, she realized that she was just in time to witness the latter in the middle of kissing the former, her tongue mixing in with Enkidu's own unused mouth._

_"It's your first time, isn't it, Enkidu? I'll be gentle on you." Shamhat said after their kiss parted, as she then slowly slipped down Enkidu's tunic, leaving it completely unclothed. She then stared at Enkidu's bare body. By bare, it was not that Enkidu was unclothed, no, rather, it was utterly devoid of any sort of genitalia or sexual organs, almost like a barbie doll._

_ "...you don't know what you should put there, don't you?" Shamhat said as she looked at Enkidu's body. Rin kept looking, the only thing that kept her head from exploding from utter embarrassment was the fact that Enkidu did not have any genitalia._

_Enkidu looked down. "I do not know what to put there. May you show me?" Enkidu asked Shamhat innocently, who had an...interesting smile upon her face. "Of course. after all, it is part of my job, Enkidu." she said, before kissing Enkidu once more._

_This time, Rin had the pleasure of seeing the full action of Shamhat kissing Enkidu, her tongue mixing with Enkidu's own, before it parted as their mixed saliva dropped to the ground. "Shamhat...that felt surprisingly good." Enkidu commented._

_"Oh, we haven't even started yet." Shamhat giggled, as she lay a hand on Enkidu's chest, before then removing the straps of her dress, letting it fall to the ground as she revealed herself to Enkidu, and by extension Rin._

_Rin felt her entire existence implode upon itself as her eyes widened._

* * *

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Rin screamed as she burst up from her bed, with Enkidu propping itself up from shock of her scream as well. "Master! What is it?" Rin grabbed her pillow, as she then realized that Enkidu was right besides her.

"IT'S ONE HUNDRED PERCENT MAXIMUM NO CHILL, NOT 30% SLOPPY SECONDS WITH SOME MIRRORVERSE BITCH!" Rin yelled as she began to beat Enkidu with a pillow, much to its surprise. "Master, why are you hitting me? And what do you mean by 'sloppy seconds?'" it asked innocently, before Rin then started to kick it in a matter not unlike how she kicked Archer in Carnival Phantasm.

Enkidu cowered, not out of fear, but rather out of instinct, though it did not hurt it to any significant degree. "Master, are you done?" It asked as it looked up to gaze at Rin. She had notable thighs, it noted, not that it cared too much.

"Enkidu..." Rin growled. Enkidu frowned, then began to catch on. "I presume that you may have dreamt of my past, master?" it said, as it went towards the closet, before coming out in a purple button-up coat and leggings, with its pigtails still relatively untouched.

Rin sighed, calming down as she then sighed. "I'll get dressed first, we'll discuss this at breakfast later. Lancer, get cooking." Lancer nodded. "Understood, master." it said before it then headed to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Lancer set down an array of toasted loaves, decorated with jam, buttered garlic, peanut butter, etc. Setting down two flasks of milk, Lancer put the milk container on the table, and sat down on the chair besides Rin.

"So, Master, what do you wish to discuss?" Enkidu asked her. Rin, seeing as this the optimal time to direct the focus away from the dream, said, "Where do you think other masters could be?" she asked Enkidu. Enkidu drank its own milk, then gave a thoughtful smile while swallowing its bread.

"I think that a place in the mountains like..." Enkidu realized that it did not know all of the geographical locations of Fuyuki. "I don't know any places in the mountains." it admitted. Rin crossed her arms, before sighing.

"You know, whatever. Let's see if we'll be able to get the Matous next." she said, as she straightened her shirt. "Enkidu, feel free to follow me to school today. Just don't let your identity as a servant be discovered." she said as she then began to walk out of the house with her backpack.

"Understood." Enkidu said, as it followed Rin. "Rin, it's that boy again." Enkidu pointed, as they noticed Shirou. Rin's eye twitched. "Okay, forgot about him...normally I would tell you that we should go 100 maximum no chill...BUT THIS ANNOYING, HIGHJUMP KID! just had to show up again." she growled.

"Hey, Rin!" Shirou waved his trembling hand towards the girl, who ignored him. Shirou frowned. _"I never had the courage to even wave towards her before, let alone a hello. Was last night truly a dream? ...after all, she talked to me WAAAY too much. Yeah, it must've just been a dream."_

Rin passed Shirou, as she then walked upwards towards where her class was located, before rushing into the bathroom. Heavy breaths came out of her mouth, as she washed and scrubbed her face furiously with water.

_"That was close...I really hope he didn't say anything. I don't want to harm her...it's a good thing that idiot's out of the war now. You've done nothing wrong, Rin..." _She thought to herself, before then regaining her composure.

"Enkidu, I'll be going in class. Please don't be conspicuous with your outfits if you choose to materialize...in fact, i'd recommend that you don't materialize. But it's up to you." she said, before heading towards her classroom.

A dematerialized Enkidu walked into the men's restroom, as it closed its eyes. It could feel several sources of mana...if it kept being dematerialized, opponents might actually get a servant to try to catch itself. Maybe a thin-air sort of disguise could work...?

It then noticed a couple of boys coming into the restroom. Looking at them, Enkidu then found a certain blue-haired boy with curly hair to be intensely dislikable at first sight. From what he was saying, making some inappropriate and rather insensitive jokes, Enkidu could tell that this person was not one of good character, and could tell that there was an increasing lack of tolerance around the other boys for this particular boy.

As soon as that blue-haired boy entered one of the stalls, Enkidu jumped into the same stall, and whacked the blue-haired boy right in the head, knocking him out. Rummaging through his backpack, Enkidu looked at the boy's schedule. "Shinji.."

Shifting its appearance into Shinji's own appearance, Enkidu looked at him, before stripping Shinji of his uniform and tucking it on, then tying him up with chains and shoving Shinji's sock into his mouth. "First class...History class..." Enkidu murmured, before rushing off to class.

As Enkidu listened to the teacher, it noticed that Rin happened to be sitting besides it. _"Hey Rin."_ Enkidu said telapathically to Rin. It could feel its master's voice. _"What is it, Lancer? What's so important?"_ was Rin's reply.

_"I just became the student sitting right next to you."_ Enkidu said, as Rin spun around to see Enkidu...in Shinji's form. _"Of all the people you could've chosen to shapeshift into, why him?" _Rin groaned, as her servant replied, _"It didn't seem like anybody would miss him in particular."_

Rin pulled on her pigtails, as she calmed herself down. _"I mean...you're not wrong. But please, switch into your original form sooner or later. I really can't stand the sight of that creepy prick. Seriously, he thinks girls are the male version of dildos!"_

There was no reply from Enkidu, as the two wrote in their notebooks, copying down whatever the teacher was saying on the board. In the case of Enkidu, it was instead just doing scribbles on its notebook, with little drawing of a comparison between Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z and Gilgamesh.

"Shinji!" The teacher called, as she noticed that "Shinji" was not exactly taking notes, and was instead doodling. "Shinji!" There was still no response. Rin face palmed, as she telepathically said to Enkidu, _"Enkidu, that's the boy's name. Just respond before you get into more trouble."_

Enkidu stood up. "Yes, Lady of Louds?" "You get up here, young man!" the teacher yelled, as she pointed towards the front-center of the classroom. "Shinji" walked up into the front of the classroom, and suddenly yelled, "Hey kids wanna see a magic trick?!"

Everybody looked at him, startled by "Shinji's" sudden outburst. "Shinji" then ducked under the teacher's tall desk at the front of the room, and shifted back into its own form. "Tadaaa!" It yelled, as its luxurious green hair flowed down from its back and down to its uniform.

Rin couldn't believe it. She had told Enkidu to get back into its original form sooner, but she wasn't expecting this. Everybody stood up to get a better look to see "Shinji's" magic trick. As Rin stared in utter disbelief, Enkidu winked at Rin, before the bell then rang.

"So, what do you think, Rin?" Enkidu asked as they sat outside under a tree, near the school field, during lunch. Rin sighed. "Well, when I ordered you to change into your original form soon, I didn't expect...such methods."

Enkidu shrugged. "Gilgy would've done so. After all, he's the center of attention. And he loved it." It twiddled with a stick, before looking at Rin, who had her hand on her forehead. "Look, Enkidu...where did you put Shinji?"

Enkidu frowned. "Does it matter?" Rin bit her lip. "Well, it probably wouldn't...if he wasn't one of the Matous, one of the mage families who first started up this Holy Grail War-or as I like to call it, Murder Death Kill thing."

"He won't be coming out anytime soon." Enkidu said. Rin frowned. "Why not? What did you do to him?" Enkidu chuckled. "I tied him up, and stuck his socks in his mouth. Even if he managed to break out, he wouldn't have clothes anyway."

Rin blinked, and then realized that Enkidu was correct. It was wearing Shinji's clothes. "...well, it's either him or Sakura who's going to be the master of the grail war." Enkidu frowned. "Who is Sakura again? Physical appearance please?"

"Purple hair, purple eyes, purple everything. Basically purple girl. Hangs out a lot with that orange high jump kid. has a pink ribbon." Rin described Sakura to Enkidu. Enkidu recalled a girl like that, calling him oni-san. "Oh, her. yeah, I remember. But...she doesn't seem to be a mage. I could barely sense any significant magic energy from her."

Rin nodded. "Exactly! She's not a mage. She's nothing." A moment of silence filled the air, as her servant stared at Rin, who just tried to maintain the cold facade. Enkidu broke the silence by commenting, "Well, if you insist."

* * *

"Young...ling. Did you not think that I'd notice your presence here?" the calm, yet steeled voice from a tall man with glasses sounded, as Enkidu stopped in its tracks. "Excuse me, sir? Is there a problem?"

"I merely noticed...your clothes. You should be wearing a school uniform." The tall man with glasses said. Enkidu had steeled itself, wondering if this man meant any harm, before it then relaxed, with sudden surprise. "Oh. I...was expecting something more serious."

Rin ran in front of Enkidu, as she muttered to herself, "100 percent maximum, NO CHILL!" she stopped in front of him. "Mr. Kuzuki! I'm so sorry about this! This is my...friend, he's visiting, he comes from a rather faraway place so he doesn't exactly know how does the system here operate!"

With the same cold air, and breath, Kuzuki said, "Well, Rin...if you have truly appeared before me...your last minutes of existence here should be near." Rin rolled her eyes. "Yes, I got it! I'll be leaving school soon!"

"Then flee...before the shadows catch you in the night, Rin." Kuzuki said, as he turned his back. "And did you think that your lie of this...young man being simply a friend, could deceive me?" Rin's eyes widened, as she hoped that she would not get into trouble.

"He's a 10 out of 10, Rin. Excellent job." Kuzuki said, before walking away. Rin looked at Enkidu, who gave its thoughts on the entire situation that had unfolded in front of them. "That was weird. Really, really weird."

Rin sighed. "That fucking drama king used to be the teacher of...drama class, but he's scared so many students away to the point that virtually nobody attends his classes..which leaves his schedule empty. Even then, he's just so scary that the principal doesn't want to get anywhere near him or try to dismiss him...or give him a demotion to homeroom teacher, so..yeah. I don't know what he does. Nobody does, in fact."

The loudspeaker sounded, as Kuzuki's voice could be heard. "And as the shadows fall upon the city upon the dead of the night, know that any unsuspecting soul, wandering into its clutches...could be your own. As the prey to the unknown, it'd turn out to be quite a shame if after all these promising years, all that happened to be your destiny was to be food for an inelegant, voracious, eldritch abomination. So head home while you still can, students. And keep both of your eyes open."

"aaaaaand...that." Rin added. "It usually works in scaring most of the students home. His voice, it's like terribly convincing, and even though we know he's bullshitting, it still gives you the chills." she sighed, as Enkidu raised its eyebrows in interest, hearing Suzuki's words.

"But Lancer, we'll be investigating this school once more. I heard of rumors that Ayako was passed out with her blood sucked out, which could possibly be the work of a servant." Rin said, as she then looked at Enkidu, who was sniffing the air, not unlike a dog.

"Lancer, what's hap-" a scream filled the air, as Rin sat up. "Lancer, stay here! I'll be checking the area! Do not engage, it's not nighttime yet!" Rin yelled as she ran down the stairs. Encountering the fallen student, she gasped as she then bent down.

"Okay, first wasting my most precious jewel on that high jump kid's stupid ass, NOW ANOTHER FORTUNE ON THIS ONE! Dad, if you're watching, please don't hold a grudge against me! Blame Kirei for everything! If his sorry ass wasn't so bad at infusing jewels, I would've ben throwing them out like confetti!" Rin yelled as she used another jewel.

As she completed the spell, she touched the girl again. Her pulse was beating at a much more steady pace this time, before a chain flew right in front of her eyes, as she instinctively jumped back to dodge it. "Okay, if some stupid mage thinks that he can skewer me with chain weapon, YOU ARE SO GOING TO GET IT! 100 PERCENT MAXIMUM...NO CHILL!" she yelled as she reinforced her legs, and burst into the forest.

Running in the forest, Rin then stopped, hearing a familiar laugh. "That sounds familiar..." something hit near her feet, making the ground erupt with soil, as she jumped back. "Okay! I'm betting on either Assassin or Rider now!"

"What's wrong, little magus? Aren't you going to summon your servant?" a feminine voice filled the air, as Rin gritted her teeth. She couldn't bet to beat a servant. She had to escape. "No, not yet. I like my command seals. Besides, is your master such a wuss that he won't dare to meet me in battle?"

"Oh. I'm sorry. My master doesn't seem to be here right now." Rider smirked, as she was perched on top of a tree. A voice could be heard up above. "OH YES I AM, RIDER!" "No...SHE'S not." Rider grinned, before bursting towards Rin, who had widened her eyes when the rider said "she."

Rin burst to the left, and pushed her back against a tree. At this point, she knew that Rider was simply just toying with her. She had to get out of here quickly. She didn't know if Lancer could get here in time, it could already sense her distress, but the assumption that she would be saved was a dangerous one.

Instinctively crouching, she looked upwards, as the tree behind her was torn apart by Rider's chain, as she bolted forwards. As she made her way out of the forest, she felt something tightening around her waist.

"You're not getting away that easily, dear, sweet little girl." the sensuous voice said, as Rider then placed her hand on Rin's shoulder, then pulled her back, as she pinned Rin's right arm to her back, and a snarl could be heard from Rider as she clenched Rin's face.

"If you really are the sister whom I've seen in her memories...you should've known you had this coming." she snarled, as Rin's eyes widened. _"I'm...sorry..." _

"Rider!" Shinji yelled, as he dropped out from a tree. "Don't kill her or seriously harm her. After all, I still see some value in her." he said with a rather sinister smirk, as his hand twitched. Rin grit her teeth. This was going to be disgusting.

As Shinji's hand reached over, a sudden wave of dust then blasted onto him, as Lancer arrived. Shinji coughed from sheer surprise as well as dust going into his mouth, while Rider simply just released the chain, resulting in Rin yelping and dropping onto the floor.

"Master of Rider, sorry for the dust, I was in a rush. Well, Master of Rider, you're not wrong. We could join forces." Lancer said as it stood up, dusting its uniform. Rin and Shinji looked at each other, before Shinji said with a certain tone of uneasiness, "Yeah! That's what I meant!...an alliance!...yeah...!"

"Lancer." Rin looked at it, telepathically commanding him. Lancer nodded, as it sprung a blade right at Shinji, inches away from his nose. "If you harm my master, I promise you that I will not treat such an offense lightly. Therefore, please respect our alliance."

Rider lowered the blade with a hand, as she stood in front of Shinji. "Then please do not harm my Master either, if he does not commit any offenses." the pink haired rider said. Rin nodded, as she looked at Lancer, motioning it to take away the blade.

Looking at Shinji, Rin then put a hand on Lancer's shoulder. "We'll meet at 9 pm, up at the mountain. You better be there." she said, before the two departed.

Shinji looked at rider, before getting a good look at Lancer's outfit. It reminded him of something...of course, how could he forget it? It had cost him an entire day of class time, and eventually had him to be properly saved by Rider.

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY UNIFO-"

* * *

**well, last time's reviews were so short that...I'm really not sure how to reply to them. One was more of a comment, and another wasn't even a complete sentence...so yeah. Sumanai!**

**But anyway, as always, please review, I'd love to hear what you think and I'll try to reply to reviews in the next chapter.**


	4. The Drama Sensei

"Lancer." Rin telepathically communicated as she arrived at the steps of the temple atop the mountain, stopping in her tracks. "Do you sense Rider here?" she spoke to her servant, keeping her hands in her pockets of her jacket, wishing that she had worn something far more appropriate for the downwards part of her body, not a short skirt and incredibly long stockings that still exposed her thighs.

"She's coming." Enkidu replied as Rider and Shinji approached them, with Rider giving Shinji a piggyback ride, then screeching to a halt, letting Shinji shoot forwards, letting out a yelp as he crashed into some bushes.

"Took you long enough, Shinji." Rin gritted her teeth from the cold wind coupled by the high altitude due to the mountain. "So…how will this go? I as for now have detected a rather large mana source up in the mountain, which vaguely reminds me of mountain dew and compost. I'm assuming that's what male essence smelled like, because while you were at home and probably JACKING OFF! I actually did some investigating."

Shinji pointed at her. "How dare you speak to me in this manner! On the other hand, that means that men have their mana stolen, correct?" he crossed his arms. "I have the bad feeling that this servant may be a misandrist."

Rolling her eyes, Rin replied to Shinji, "Does anybody give any fucks about misandry at this day as much as misogyny?" Enkidu scratched its head. "Is there such a thing as misclay-dny?"

Rin, Rider, and Shinji stared at Enkidu. "…" none of them said anything at the strange, almost cringy remark. "Should we just get to the threat at hand, who is most likely a caster?" Rider piped up to their relief.

"Alright." The four nodded, as they made their way up the stairs, before Rin then tapped Shinji on the shoulder. "Shinji. I just have one question to ask you. How is Sakura doing? I do not wish to meet her, I do not wish to have much to do with her…I simply want to know if she's doing well."

Shinji clenched his teeth, as he thought of Sakura's condition. Would he lie? Or should he tell her the horrible truth? Of course, he would lie. After all, that would increase his chances of winning the Grail, so grandfather would be proud of him. That was all that mattered, wasn't it?

Still, he felt a twinge of guilt in not telling her the truth. But no matter, he would say it anyway. "She's doing good. I took her place in the Grail War. She'll be fine."

A white lie, a lie that would serve to relieve Rin Tohsaka, and set aside her worrisome thoughts. If there was anything he could ever do in his life that would be considered good, such an action would likely be the case.

"It's good to hear that." Was all that Rin said, as she headed upwards, and caught sight of a servant with a long sword, a nodachi. A swordsman, she took note of. Hopefully she could use a duel to distract him, as she whispered in Rider's ear for instructions.

Rider ran up to the samurai. "There will be a far better swordsman to meet you. I don't even use swords. So please, let us in." The samurai sheathed his blade as he looked at Rider. "…very well. But don't expect me to let you leave if the opponent turns out to be unsatisfactory."

With that, Rider and Shinji ran into the temple, as Lancer ran up the steps a few moments later. "Welcome. I'd been expecting you to arrive much later, not that I don't appreciate your speed." The servant said, as he held his blade in his scabbard with two hands.

"Identify yourself! What class are you, swordsman?" Enkidu called out to the purple-haired swordsman.

"Me? I believe that this blade upon my back makes it very obvious that I…am the Saber servant." A small smirk crept upon his face, as he put himself in a battle-ready stance.

Enkidu formed two swords within his hands, as it twirled the swords, before putting itself in a battle-ready stance as well. "You know, I'd be inclined to believe you, if I hadn't tried the exact same trick and it failed because I met the real Saber."

The purple haired samurai sighed, as he shook his head. "Fine, I'm assassin. What happened to Saber, though?"

Enkidu replied warily, "Berserker killed Saber. Saw it with my own eyes. However, if you wish to see a worthy opponent, I may provide you a challenge."

Assassin nodded. "Well, let us see if you have the capabilities to best my blade, then! But hold on...could you not tell people that I'm Assassin?"

Enkidu frowned, as it had a questioning look on its face, waiting for Assassin to explain what its reason was.

"I simply don't feel like an Assassin, I feel more like a Saber. Look, how many people know that Saber died?" Assassin asked Lancer, as he had a rather embarrassed tone within his voice.

"Berserker, and myself." Lancer said. "Archer may have met her earlier on." It added. Assassin nodded in approval. "Then we don't tell Rider. But back to the matter at hand. If you wish to pass through this gate to support your master, then you must best my blade!"

"Rider…Rider!" Shinji was now stuck in a series of almost invisible spider-web like material, as Rider burst after the woman in the purple dress. "Can you get me out of here first?!"

He yelled at Rider, despite the fact that she was busy braving Caster's beams. "Master, could you try breaking out yourself?" was her response, as she twirled in the air, before kicking right at Caster's staff, sending her backwards.

"Oh, sweet, little boy. It's such a shame that you don't have any command seals on your hand." Caster said as she landed near Shinji, who clenched his teeth in rage at the mention of his lack of command seals.

"This book is an updated version of the command seals! Don't you dare look down on me!" Shinji protested, as he struggled against the spiderwebs, trying to break free, but his efforts proved futile.

"Oh, I compliment you if those truly were made by you, dear sweet little boy. It's just that I cannot take one of those command seals, and then make Rider over here address me as her lover~" Caster had a smug, yet mildly disappointed smile on her face, as Rider raised her eyebrows, letting out a sensuous "ooh~"

Rider then looked at Caster, as she held her chain weapons. "You seem familiar…the clothing of your age is reminiscent of how Greeks dressed." She remarked, as Medea raised her staff. "And what does it matter? There are quite a few Greek mages famous throughout history."

"You're right. It doesn't matter." Rider replied before bursting forwards, appearing right behind Caster, and launching a spike right through Caster. "Master, time to go." She said as she cut the spider webs, freeing Shinji.

"Oh, Rider…~" a voice sounded from above, as Medea's cape had transformed into bat-like wings, blasting beam after beam at the two. Rider burst away with Shinji, grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt. "Rider! Get me away from this crazy chick!"

"Understood!" Rider replied, as she kicked him away, hitting him right in the chest as he flew off a few meters away. "You could've just thrown me! Did you do that just for the sake of it!?" Shinji yelled at Rider, infuriated that he had been kicked by his servant.

Rider had a smirk on her face as she then launched herself towards Caster by hooking her chains to the walls and pulling herself while jumping towards Caster. "I've got you!" she yelled as she spun, her fist going right towards Caster's face.

Until she suddenly came to a halt in midair. She didn't know what it was, until she looked back, and realized that someone was grabbing onto her foot. A man with glasses, a green suit, and his hands coated in purple energy.

"Young lady. Did you decide to ignore my existence? Did you assume that because one is not of a servant's power, he is not a threat to be reckoned with? If so, then you will surely rue this day."

* * *

Swords clashing, Enkidu and Assassin locked their blades together, before Assassin knocked Enkidu back, who crouched on all fours to stop its backwards momentum, and drew its head up to meet Assassin's eyes.

_"I outrank him in all parameters. Why can I not break through? Is it because he has the high ground?" _Enkidu thought to itself, as it rose up from its crouch, before bursting forwards yet again, spinning in its signature beyblade-like technique, as its blades clashed against Assassin's own blade.

Assassin let his own perception focus on the two spinning blades, as he slipped his own nodachi under Enkidu's left blade, before jerking his sword up, sending the blade flying. Enkidu's eyes widened, as it then latched its hand onto Assassin's blade's hilt, above Assassin's own right hand, as it tried to take control of the situation, its right blade coming for a blow.

With quick wiles, Assassin twirled the hilt of his nodachi as well as the blade vertically, the blade then coming towards opposite side, forcing Enkidu's hand to release in order to prevent it from being injured by the twist, and deflecting Enkidu's right sword, before Assassin then thrust the hilt of his blade forward right into Enkidu's torso, sending it backwards once more.

"Oh, what skill, Lancer! I expected you to be one with the naginata, but it seems like your skills with the swords are quite capable as well!" Assassin declared, as he pointed his nodachi at Enkidu.

Enkidu replied back, "And you knocked away my blade with such dexterity, as if you had done it a million times!"

"You do realize that flattery is not something that will get you through the temple gates, is it?" Assassin smirked, as he tilted his sword slightly towards the gate.

A sulking look decorated on its, face, Enkidu had the slight urge to suddenly skewer the silver-tongued assassin before it. At least, that would be what it would do if it could.

"However, you are quite blessed with manners to match your beauty. So whether if that was flattery or not, I quite appreciate it." Assassin chuckled, as he still held the weight of his sword upon his shoulder.

Its eyes narrowing slightly, Enkidu sighed, as it brushed its hair aside. "Look, Assassin. I am sorry to say this, but you seem to be under the misconception that I am a woman."

Assassin's eyes widened, as he was understandably rather surprised to hear that despite his opponent's beauty, it was no woman. It didn't help that homosexuality was not very common in such older times, and he was slightly disgusted at the prospect of being attracted to a man.

"If you are no woman, does that mean you are a man, Lancer? What gender are you, or rather, what is your biological sex, given that the grail has told me that the meaning of gender is...complicated?"

Enkidu shook its head. "I identify as clay. Or rather, I was born as clay." It spoke, as Assassin had a confused expression on his face, as he decided to ask further for clarification.

"What specifically is at your crotch, Lancer? A sword or a shield?"

"Clay."

"What is under that, Lancer?"

"More clay. Besides, where is your sense of decency, samurai? Asking one for the details of one's privates?!" Enkidu questioned, as the confused Assassin clamoured in a calm yet slightly embarrassed tone. "My apologies, but bushido has never told me what to do in such a situation as this!"

Sighing, Assassin looked at Enkidu, before pointing his sword at the...clay, he could only suppose. "Why don't we have a guessing game? I'll guess your identity, and if I guess it correctly, I shall not hide it. In return, you shall do the same."

Enkidu raised its eyebrows. "That's quite a hefty game you've got there, Assassin. However, I accept. You are Toda Seigen."

"Nay. I did know him personally in life, though. My turn! You are Ishtar or someone of relation to her, from what your features have told me.." Assassin said, as he rested his nodachi on his shoulder.

Enkidu's left eye twitched at the mention of Ishtar. First his master, then the priest whom Rin told, and now Assassin. "Okay…that's not correct."

Assassin nodded, as he pointed his blade at Enkidu. Well if that's not the case, then I suppose we shall resume our battle."

Enkidu said nothing, instead creating a shape of a bull's bottom from clay, before throwing it at Assassin, in tranquil fury, at the mention of Ishtar.

Slicing it into pieces, Assassin looked at Enkidu. "Really. You threw a bull's ass at me. Did the name of Ishtar anger you?"

Enkidu sighed. "Well, at least you're sensible enough to take a clue. Just please...don't mention her."

"Understood. Then, Lancer, will you face my ultimate technique, then?" Assassin said as he walked down, much to Enkidu's surprise. He had yielded an advantage that was one of the greatest factors to why Enkidu itself couldn't defeat him despite its higher parameters.

"Very well. I do not refuse challenges." Enkidu replied, as it placed itself in a crouching motion. Assassin smiled, a genuine one, instead of a smirk. "I like that attitude of yours. If only Musashi had the same disposition." he said, as Enkidu's eyes slightly widened as its mind instinctively raced towards the identity of the enemy servant.

"Tsubame Gaeshi."

Enkidu found itself unable to react accordingly as its mind had been racing for the identity of the enemy servant, and now was facing...three blades simultaneously. Never mind that it couldn't react in the best way, even if its mind wasn't occupied, it doubted that it could dodge it.

_"Oh, for Enki's sake, I should really stop wasting time thinking."_

* * *

"Enkidu! By my command seal, I, Rin Tohsaka, request you to come over here right now!"

"Master, understood." Enkidu said, as it then burst towards Rin's location, escaping Assassin's technique, going past the bounded field that the caster class servant had created, and deflecting a blast fired from Caster towards Rin.

As it surveyed the area, its eyes widened in shock, as it then looked at the unexpected sight of what seemed to be only a normal human. No, not a normal human. Definitely a master, as his hand had shown. However, such a deed was highly unexpected.

Souichirou Suzuki was holding Rider by the neck, as Rider's head did a 720 degree spin, before her body began to fade away. "So you have come to fight by yourself, magus? With my high ranks of magic resistance, no mage can defeat me. I see that with the death of Rider, a rather weak servant, you know very well that you could be killed here." Enkidu spoke, as it readied its bare fists, prepared to take on any threat that this magus could possibly be.

_"Enkidu, you can't beat him hand to hand!" _Rin warned him, as Enkidu frowned, not understanding what Rin meant. A magus capable of matching blows with servants in close quarters? Impossible. Or was it not the case?

"You think too highly of me, Lancer. I am no mage. That is…" he burst in, as his fist arched towards Enkidu's chest, seemingly. Enkidu instead paid no heed towards the incoming blow, reaching towards the master's chest, before it found itself staggering, its vision blurring, unable to think properly, as the slow realization that his nape had received a heavy blow crept in..

Suzuki's fists were glowing purple, as Caster levitated behind him, smiling as she began to fire spells at Enkidu. Jumping to the side, Enkidu looked at the fist coming towards its stomach. Preparing to fire a sword right at the fist, instead, Enkidu felt the fist collide right with its left armpit, sending it flying towards a wall, leaving it groaning in pain.

"The wind is invisible, however, quite predictable due to the direction that the surroundings of nature tell you. Many things are quite predictable within nature's rules. However, there is a limit to what nature can dictate." Kuzuki said, as he gave a few more blows to Lancer, who skidded to a halt.

"Because sometimes, humans break free from the laws of nature. And in this case, within a fight in the supernatural world…" Kuzuki dealt several more blows to Lancer, who was listening quite attentively before being punched once more.

"Rules are made to be broken."

_"Lancer, quit listening to him! I know that his monologues may be interesting, but now isn't the time!" Rin yelled telepathically. "Raise your agility! Maybe endurance! His blows may hurt, but they're not going to do too much damage in the long run!"_

_"Understood, master!" _Enkidu replied, as it then began to adjust its parameters. Agilty...A+. Endurance...A+. Mana...C. Bursting towards Kuzuki, the master began to speak once more, as Enkidu fired lower-grade, but far more disposable weapons at Kuzuki, who deflected the projectiles with his magecraft-coated fists.

"Sometimes, Lancer, do you ever think about how these swords were made? Their bones are one with the earth, from what I have seen, and they are of what alchemists have always sought. In fact, one could say that you are a carbon copy of fullmetal alchemist. A fantastic anime last year, 2003, known for its initially friendly approach, as it then spirals down a darker and deeper hole. Perhaps your existence is like this as well, servant. Perhaps you will be Ed. Or maybe, you will see an Ed around."

Enkidu was a bit too attentive to Kuzuki's words, as it then found the ground under its feet exploding. "Agh!" it flew through the air, before landing in a crouch besides its master. Gritting its teeth, it realized that it was a foolish move to lower its mana. Now with a lesser degree of magic resistance, the Caster servant was now very capable of damaging it.

"Stop." Rin held up her hand towards her Lancer, as she looked at Caster and Kuzuki. "Stop this violence at hand. I believe we have a far more pressing matter at hand, all of you." she spoke with a radiance and aura of authority, as she steeled herself, trying to ignore the fact that her body was itching for her legs to shake in fear.

"And what makes you think that we'll simply stop our assault on you, little mage?" Caster replied in her usual sensuous tone, as she still had her bat wings open, ready for spells to be unleashed.

"Because as you really have been going around and taking mana from men, you likely would've already recognized the threat that is Berserker, correct?" Rin said to Caster, as she clenched her teeth. She didn't know if this would work, but the worst case would be that it would give enough time for Lancer to heal its wounds with her mana...if it could, that is.

"A decisive action, something that I would not expect less from my...brilliant student." Kuzuki said as he looked towards Medea. "I have little to nothing to do in this war, except to survive. I am simply an outsider, but if you provoke the trigger a bit too much not unlike how Shinji Matou did...you will find that my policy is more than it meets the eye. Caster. What is your decision?"

Caster pursed her lips, as she smiled slightly. Perhaps if they teamed up, and gained enough trust, she may be able to find an opening to take Lancer as a servant. After all, as Lancer was more than likely going to be taking most of the brunt from Berserker, she could trust that it would either be too injured to prevent its master's demise, or that it'd drain her master of mana, resulting in an easy snatch.

"Very well, magus. Seeing that now Berserker is a far greater threat to us, I suppose that we may team up for the time being. However, don't you dare betray me before Berserker is dead." Medea said, as the happy thought crossed her mind, knowing herself, she wouldn't hesitate to betray her if the situation required it, no matter if Berserker was dead or not.

"I could very well say the same for you, Caster." Rin replied, as she took Lancer by the hand. "If we are to team up, then tomorrow, Lancer and I will lure Berserker to this location, where Assassin will hold him back for a few minutes to give us time to prepare and overwhelm him."

Enkidu raised its eyebrows at Rin taking its hand. Was it a romantic gesture? Or was this just what girls do, given that it could very well be seen as a female? Or was this just a sign of her being nervous and needing a hand to calm herself? It didn't telepathically ask her this, though.

"...very well, magus. I'll be waiting, then. You may leave. However, I wouldn't advise you to come back here without Berserker on your tail." Caster replied as she landed besides Kuzuki, checking his fists to see if was injured. It wasn't too hard to see that she was legitimately concerned for his well-being.

"Good. See you tomorrow night." Rin said as she and Enkidu walked out, with Assassin letting them go. "Well, caster already has said so. I suppose we'll continue another day, Lancer."

* * *

"Seriously! I could have won this war if I didn't have such a fucking weak servant!" Shinji whined inside the chapel as he begged Kirei for a way to allow him to re-enter the Grail war.

"And who was your servant in question, young. Lad? Her true name?" Kirei accentuated the two last words just to mess with the boy, though he had little to no positive interest in him. Was this really what the Matous had to offer? A whiny, cowardly, boy?

"Rider! The motherfucking gorgon! How is she so...weak?!" Shinji yelled as he punched the floor in rage, only to realize that his fists began to scream in pain from the intense beating, as he himself began to let out similar sentiments to his fists.

"Have you considered that maybe perhaps she doesn't share all of the blame?" Kirei mused as he still stood in the center of the chapel.

"Oh yes! Rin Toe-Suck-a! It was entirely her fault!" Shinji declared as Kirei raised his eyebrows slightly. The priest asked, "Oh? Why is it her fault?"

"Because she sent my weaker servant in first with me to deal with the caster while letting her servant deal with the assassin!" Shinji yelled.

Chuckling, Kirei decided to toy with this young man for a few moments. "Perhaps that's more of a compliment towards her own capabilities, and not a factor in the so called compromise in your own?"

Shinji thought about it for a minute, as he remained silent. Then he came to a conclusion. "Exactly! She's just too good! That's cheating!" he yelled.

This time, Kirei decided to snark, pointing at the book that Shinji had. "Says the one who uses a book to control his servant instead of proper command seals. Really, the mana emitting from there is quite potent, it's quite obvious that they were fashioned from command seals."

"Are you mocking me?!" Shinji yelled at the priest in a rage, as he pointed at him. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF ME IN SUCH A MANNER!"

Kirei shrugged. "Oh, it seems like you found out. I was waiting for you to come to that conclusion. Congratulations."

"Oh, yeah, thank you SOOO much for that compliment, I really fucking appreciated it!" Shinji pointed at Kirei, his hand shaking in rage.

Sighing, Kirei kept reading the Bible in his hand, as he said in a slightly annoyed tone, "Young lad, I must inform you that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."

"Well...your mom's a faggy, shit-eating, potty head!" Shinji retaliated, stomping his foot in rage as he gave Kirei the bird.

A rich laugh emitted from Gilgamesh in amusement because of how immature the entire insult was, while Kirei closed his Bible. "I stand corrected." he then cleared his throat, as he spoke to Shinji. "So, where were we? I believe that we may have gotten off topic."

Barking, Shinji listed his request. "Gimmie a better servant! I could've won the war if that bitch didn't summon another bitch for me!"

Raising his eyebrows, Kirei directed his gaze towards Gilgamesh, as he walked over, whispering in his ear. "May you babysit this bitch for me, Gilgamesh?"

With a laugh, Gilgamesh stood up. "It seems like this tiny, infantile mongrel does not know his place. I suppose I could have some entertainment playing along with his emotions, do a fair bit of acting, before my fated match with that green haired servant." he whispered back in Kirei's ear, the priest himself having a smile on his face.

"Very well. Do as you wish, king of heroes." Kirei said, before he then watched Gilgamesh slowly stride over to Shinji in a biker's outfit, in a gangster-hip like fashion. The priest raised his eyebrows in interest as Gilgamesh then extended his hand in mock respect.

"Hello, Master." The golden-haired king smirked at the sight of Shinji, as the blue haired boy folded his arms, not wanting to touch him. He chuckled at such arrogance, that he would run to the ground when the time was ripe and right.

"Got something for me?"

* * *

**Shit, vacation really has been taking my time off. definitely not appreciated...BUT I'M ALIVE! So let's get to reviews.**

**malachaiforever:**

**Hellooooooo**  
**It's my first time commenting on your story but I really love it.**  
**Poor Shinji XD I burst out of laughter when I read the scene of him in the toilets with the socks in the mouth.**  
**Enkidu is one of my favourite servant and I'm sad that there is not that much stories with him. I can't wait to see him with Gilgamesh.**  
**I hope I will be able to read a new chapter soon. Good luch with writing your story.**  
**(By the way I'm sorry if I made any mistakes because I'm French and my English is not perfect)**

**Well, I'm glad that you enjoyed it, Malachaiforever. I'm sorry for the major delay, so I'll tell you guys this: unlike FSF(fate strange fake), I don't plan on blowing my load with Gil and Enkidu early on.**


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